One major change in my life is obviously motherhood. A change I believe no one could ever be prepared or be ready for. It is all exhilerating, new and liberating. And also confusing, scary and oh so foreign all at the same time. Even now, I am finding it hard to pen down what I am feeling day by day. It is conflicting, yet enriching. So satisfying, yet overwhelming. All I can say for certain is that I have never felt this blessed.Truth be told. I did not quite know what to expect. Will it be love at first sight, or will it be, (I later learnt) like so many other first time mums, be a love that grows with time. Annabel is the first person I think of when I wake. The last before I sleep. When she coos and smiles at me, I realise I often tear. I love watching her sleep. I enjoy breathing her in. I had memorized all her cute little not-so-in-sync movements. She has become my angel. My darling. My baby.
Close friends will know that motherhood somewhat terrifies me. I never thought I was maternal. Impatience is perhaps sadly one of my biggest flaw. And the thought of me having to stop or slow my life for this little person dumbfounded me. But looking at her now with her drooling smiles and brilliantly bright eye looks, I never knew why it took us this long. I am absolutely head over heels and couldn't imagine life without my dribbling little wriggling angel.So there you have it. There really is nothing much to fill in after all. Just silly old me falling in love all over again.
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